hooray! check this baby out...




now, i know it's not all that cutting edge or whatever, and i am late to the party, mostly because i am a contrarian. but, i am now in the realm of smart phoners. effective immediately, and per an agreement made with a certain friend, i shall be more social and also join The Twitter.

you can also expect my photo resolution to be a whoooole lot better. and i am thankful for that alone, aside from having the world at my fingertips ;)

sometimes i feel as if i have no focus and that i am just rambling on and on and on... and i don't know why. at least, i didn't know why. until a date on the calendar reminded me. the road trip. my life trip. it was supposed to start today.

i can't even begin to explain how disappointed i am. i mean, i know why i can't go and i know that it doesn't mean that i won't ever go, but i felt as if this was my only chance. i rarely ever take the bull by the horns like this. i am a planner and a stickler for details and i also like a bit of randomness in my life, but this was to be the grandest undertaking. a planned random meandering across the country. and it makes me sad.

the list of places i want to visit are ever expanding, and i'm also afraid of being too late to see and touch and taste the things i really want to. it was right in my grasp and everything got fucked up. and i don't know what to do now, besides just keep on keeping on, but the stagnation of my current situation is suffocating me. light at the end of the tunnel my ass!


i was offered a reprieve. once all of the shit is over, in three years time, we will upgrade on the road trip and do a three week Mediterranean cruise instead. mega upgrade indeed. it seems so far away, it seems so worth it. all i have to do is be the model student and get the hell out of grad school in one piece with my doctorate in my back pocket. it's happening.

in the mean time, for the wonder, i'll have little spurts of adventure... just to keep me sane.

being in grad school doesn't really afford me too many luxuries. in fact, my like of all cotton everything (sheets, shirts, skivvies) means that my idea of luxury is quite far removed from reality, right down to dating. the average woman might go to happy hour once or twice a week and then go clubbing with their girls on the weekend. i remember when i had a job job, ahh memories, i would party about 4 nights a week and still go to work as fresh as a daisy. all of this allowed the opportunity to meet single and eligible men. during this stint at the job job, i also keep a rotating Rolodex of dates. you do the math: 4 nights out a week in DC full of attractive and capable young men... in short, i became a serial first dater.

before i get nostalgic and whatnot, let's just say that's the past. and my present is not as rosy. i spend 10-12 hours a day in lab, i barely make it home lucid enough to throw together a gourmet meal for myself and veg out in front of the tube before passing out and doing it all over again in 8 hours. long story short, i don't really have the time to go out and meet anyone. most days, the only time i spend outside is getting on and off the shuttle. and also, i kinda just hate the club. it's dark and loud and musty and i imagine that's what hell must be like.

so, i decided, if i am ever to get married in this lifetime, i have to make a move, a smart move. and that is why i chose online dating.

the next step was to choose my platform. which site to choose. i could pick Match¹ or eHarmony; their commercials are catchy and convincing. but a student's stipend just would not support that. so, free platforms it is. i tried out a few but settled on one that had high traffic. i figured i trusted my own instincts when it came to judging character, but boy was i wrong. i'm not going to put the name of the dating site, but let's just say the people who frequent it are plenty offish.

i though i could handle myself to weed out the crazies and undesirables, but the difference between the club and online services is opportunity. men online have time, space, and opportunity to market themselves in a more effective fashion. it's the difference between trying out a new sample right in the aisles of Costco and watching an effective commercial for the same product on TV and going to get 12 cases of that product from Costco, whether the product is good or not.

but, i will not be fooled again. besides, i'd rather feel that spark, that connection one only gets in real time.

¹i have, in fact, paid for services from Match.com in the past, but was displeased with their delivery. you can sign up for free and just receive winks, but you can't receive messages. while in this trial phase, i received numerous winks, messages, and profile views, enough to make me think it was worth the moolah to splurge for a 3 month package. after forking over my money, however, my communications mysteriously went down about 85%. they got me. and my money.


further reading: Three Possible Reasons Why Online Dating’s Just Not That Into Black People

update: even further reading - The 10 Men You Should Never, Ever, Ever Consider Dating

so, i thought i wasn't really updating because i had nothing to write, but that's not really true... i'm lazy. i'm a lazy bitch.

and i also though i wasn't cooking in my kitchen because my kitchen sink was clogged (which it was; you try putting 2lbs of bad kale down a garbage disposal and NOT to end up with a swamp in your sink), but once it was fixed i still haven't done much cooking. i'm lazy.

and i haven't been to yoga in almost 2 weeks. i could blame it on school and being too tired, but again... tired = lazy in this equation.

i can blame it on a number of things... it April but still 45°, i'm in school 10 hours a day, i'm tired, i'm not that hungry, my knee hurts, i miss him, i don't feel like it, i have other plans, i have enough money, i don't have enough money, blah blah blah lazy, lazy, LAZY!

in case you're wondering, lazy is not my favorite word. my mother used to lord that word over my head when i was under her rule in order to trigger my guilt and self-loathing. it didn't work very often, as my pride often provided me with examples of when i was passionate enough to be motivated. but after 27 years of life, i guess i am. i guess being lazy is a part of who i am. it's a hard pill to swallow, but i'm kinda too tired to care ;-)

tonight marks the end of a season... the third season of Jersey Shore :-(

one of my guilty pleasures is ending for the season tonight. to be honest, there is going to be a void there... for all of the things i don't do, watch, or listen to on principle, Jersey Shore goes against my better judgment. but, it has become a mainstay in my TV watching catalog and i shall grow weary waiting for it to return for season 4 in Italy, even though they haven't really started filming and no air date has been given.

anywho, in the spirit of the show moving from Jersey Shore proper to Italy, i have put together a collection of custom t-shirts. the Jersey Shore kids work in a t-shirt shop, The Shore Store, to earn their living on the boardwalk, so i decided to get my silkscreen press on to commemorate some of my favorite quotes from this season.