i'm slowly, but surely, pulling myself out of the abyss.

after the pity party thrown by some friends, i decided enough was enough. i started small. with cooking.

cooking is a joy of mine. just the simple act of chopping a carrot can be very relaxing. there isn't a lot of thought involved (which, after a day of chemistry publications and syntheses, i welcome) and the melodic tapping of the knife against the cutting board is very soothing for me. but i hadn't cooked since shit hit the fan. in fact, i was afraid to see what science experiment had cooked up in my Le Creuset, since it had been sitting on my kitchen prep table since my birthday. yeah... i'm trifling.

but, if i ever want to get back to the things i enjoy, i have to start at the beginning and clean my damn kitchen. and i hate cleaning. one of the things i miss most about my ex is that he loved to clean up after a meal. but, like Lil Wayne, i'm single. i should have worn a face mask with all of the mold that clouded my sink, but i had good music blasting so i didn't even care. Bilal and Corinne Bailey Rae have that effect on me. the transformation from dark and dank to clean and sparkly really lifted my spirits.
Thursday's dinner: sausage & kale ragu with linguine

Sunday's dinner: shrimp with tomatoes & haricot verts

i feel a little bit better. actually, a lot a bit better. i think i'm one more home cooked meal away from tackling my next feat: starting yoga or tennis again. the main reason it has taken so long is because the classes are really late. call it SADs, but seeing the sun set before 5.30p makes me wanna crawl in bed and stare into space, otherwise know as Teen Mom and Jersey Shore. there are some in the morning but doing yoga in the morning, or anything outside of trying not to brush my teeth with my bowl of Frosted Flakes, is an impossibility. however, since the days are getting longer and warmer, i think i can do it. i just don't wanna crash and burn. i get out of lab at 7p, yoga starts 15 minutes after until 8.30p, after prime time and i have to figure out what to do about dinner... no matter how calming it is, i do not wanna be chopping veg at 9p. besides, i can't eat that late. and tennis is the same story; the club meets really late. and i think i want to get into better shape BEFORE i start tennis. weird but i just know that my large boobs and belly will make me feel uncomfortable chasing the ball.

it'll work out because it has to... because i want it to.
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