being in grad school doesn't really afford me too many luxuries. in fact, my like of all cotton everything (sheets, shirts, skivvies) means that my idea of luxury is quite far removed from reality, right down to dating. the average woman might go to happy hour once or twice a week and then go clubbing with their girls on the weekend. i remember when i had a job job, ahh memories, i would party about 4 nights a week and still go to work as fresh as a daisy. all of this allowed the opportunity to meet single and eligible men. during this stint at the job job, i also keep a rotating Rolodex of dates. you do the math: 4 nights out a week in DC full of attractive and capable young men... in short, i became a serial first dater.

before i get nostalgic and whatnot, let's just say that's the past. and my present is not as rosy. i spend 10-12 hours a day in lab, i barely make it home lucid enough to throw together a gourmet meal for myself and veg out in front of the tube before passing out and doing it all over again in 8 hours. long story short, i don't really have the time to go out and meet anyone. most days, the only time i spend outside is getting on and off the shuttle. and also, i kinda just hate the club. it's dark and loud and musty and i imagine that's what hell must be like.

so, i decided, if i am ever to get married in this lifetime, i have to make a move, a smart move. and that is why i chose online dating.

the next step was to choose my platform. which site to choose. i could pick Match1 or eHarmony; their commercials are catchy and convincing. but a student's stipend just would not support that. so, free platforms it is. i tried out a few but settled on one that had high traffic. i figured i trusted my own instincts when it came to judging character, but boy was i wrong. i'm not going to put the name of the dating site, but let's just say the people who frequent it are plenty offish.

i though i could handle myself to weed out the crazies and undesirables, but the difference between the club and online services is opportunity. men online have time, space, and opportunity to market themselves in a more effective fashion. it's the difference between trying out a new sample right in the aisles of Costco and watching an effective commercial for the same product on TV and going to get 12 cases of that product from Costco, whether the product is good or not.

but, i will not be fooled again. besides, i'd rather feel that spark, that connection one only gets in real time.

1i have, in fact, paid for services from in the past, but was displeased with their delivery. you can sign up for free and just receive winks, but you can't receive messages. while in this trial phase, i received numerous winks, messages, and profile views, enough to make me think it was worth the moolah to splurge for a 3 month package. after forking over my money, however, my communications mysteriously went down about 85%. they got me. and my money.

further reading: Three Possible Reasons Why Online Dating’s Just Not That Into Black People

update: even further reading - The 10 Men You Should Never, Ever, Ever Consider Dating
0 Responses